


Love you, Goodbye

by FlirtyHale



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Break Up, Break up sex, Current Events, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, London, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:18:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlirtyHale/pseuds/FlirtyHale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on One Direction's song Love you, Goodbye.</p><p>“Haz, I’m not- I’m not ready” Louis murmurs, crushing Harry’s heart with each syllable he speaks. Harry closes the box and throws it onto the couch in frustration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love you, Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Song Spoiler:
> 
> Love you GoodBye is the 11th track on One Direction's fifth Album, Made In The AM. It's about a couple breaking up and having one last night of sex before saying goodbye for good. 
> 
> [Larry ensues]

“Will you marry me Louis Tomlinson?” Harry asks, on one knee in the middle of their flat. The sun shining bright outside and the birds chirping elegantly.

Louis glances down at Harry then at the clock. He takes a step back and bumps against the couch, stopping him from doing what he really wants to do.

Run.

“Lou?” Harry asks, the concern dripping from his voice.

The silver metal band sits in a red velvet box. Of course Harry would be a cliche and go all out for this moment. Of course Harry would ask in their apartment that they picked out together and fell in love in. Of course Harry would look at him like he was the world but Louis- of course Louis would want to run.

“Harry-” Louis croaks and Harry doesn’t want to hear the next few words. He just wants a yes, a simple yes, maybe some celebratory sex and Louis for the rest of his life. That’s it.

“Haz, I’m not- I’m not ready” Louis murmurs, crushing Harry’s heart with each syllable he speaks. Harry closes the box and throws it onto the couch in frustration. He turns away from Louis, threading his hand through his hair and taking a deep breath of air.

Louis stays where he is, too consumed in his own guilt to console his other half. Tears welt up into Louis eyes as he watches Harry do circles in front of him.

“Harry-I’m sor-” He tries to say.

Harry turns around quick, eyes glassy and cheeks tinged red “You don’t think I’m not ready either! We’re kids Lou!" Harry barks, making Louis flinch "But I know I am so fucking ready to spend the rest of my days here on earth with you!” He shouts, as one tear falls from his eye and streaks down his cheek.

Louis sits onto the couch and curls into himself, the little red box sitting right next to him. Taunting him for all the things that he has always run away from.  It pulls on a nerve inside him, one that he never wanted to touch.  Tears leak from his eyes, before he can even try to hold any of it in he’s sobbing into his hands.

“I know we are forever Lou. We are meant to live a happy life together don’t you want that Louis?” Harry asks, looking deeply into his boyfriend eyes of five years.

Louis doesn’t look up at Harry just shoves his hands into his eyes to hide the tears. He feels Harry sit next to him and wrap his arms around his shoulders. “Louis, we are going to be happy and together and in love. Our lives only get better from this point because I’m with you and you’re with me. That’s it love” Harry says softly, then slowly grabs at Louis’ hands and removes them away from his face.

Louis looks into green eyes that are filled with hope and fear but Louis can’t, he can’t live a life that he doesn’t want. “Harry, my sweet precious Harry. I won’t stop loving you but this isn’t what I want.”

Harry's hands tighten around Louis’. “I don’t want the grand wedding, I don’t want the picket fence, I don’t want the kids. Not just yet, someday- one day but not today and not anytime soon. I’m not ready Harry.”

Harry swallows thickly “Well- I guess this is it then?”

Louis looks at him in surprise “What do you mean?”

Harry lets go of Louis’ hands and gets up off the couch “I know what I want in the near future, you know what you want. We want different things, why continue _us_ if it isn’t going anywhere?”

Louis gets it, even though he doesn’t want too. He likes where they are now, this independent/co-dependent couple that has this carefree attitude, well being completely madly in love. He doesn’t want to jeopardize that with commitment and responsibility. They aren’t that type, Louis really thought they weren’t. They’re just Harry and Louis, Louis and Harry, the dynamic duo of the epic love story.

“Then I guess this is it” Louis mumbles, his heart shattering along with his words. It’s finally sinking in.

This is it.

Harry nods with a frown on his face then carefully makes his way up the steps, to the room that is no longer his. He packs a bag that will last some time  and then begins to gather his coat, keys, phone and wallet to leave.

Louis watches him surry around without making any movement, scared that if he stands and makes himself a cuppa that he’ll scare the poor boy. His poor boy- not anymore.

Louis stares into space, letting numbness swallow him whole. Harry comes over and looks down at the small boy. Feet tucked under himself as he leans against the side of the couch. Harry leans forward and kisses Louis one last time on the cheek “Bye, Lou” and then he’s gone.

The door clicks shut and finally Louis feels alright to move, he makes his way to the kitchen and turns on the stove to place the kettle on. He pulls his favorite tea canister from the cupboard and places it on the counter.

The flat is silent, too silent. Harry would have music playing, would come up behind him and kiss his neck, Harry would make a corny joke and they would warm up with cups of tea and sit by the fireplace.

Louis’ heart swells and he drops to the floor in a mess of tears and heartbreak.

Harry get’s out to his car and starts the engine, he back out of the gated driveway and drives for a couple of blocks. He’s making his way to Gemma’s house but barely gets close when he has to turn onto an empty street, pull over and cry till his heart stops aching.

*

Harry wakes up with a massive hangover. His head pounding, his hair matted, he reeks of sweat and booze. Last night was fun, probably the most fun he’s had in over two weeks. It gave him a chance to let go and be himself for a while. Rather than a sobbing, heartbroken, emotional mess. The clock says it’s almost 1 in the afternoon which means he missed a rehearsal, but it’s whatever. He doesn’t feel like seeing Louis today anyways.

He groans and get out of bed with a crack of his back. He’s taken up home in Gemma’s guest bedroom, it’s better than being at Liam or Niall’s place. To which he should probably tell them what happened if Louis hasn’t already. God One Direction is gonna go down the drain now isn’t it?

He shakes those kind of thoughts out of his head and moves to the bathroom for a shower.

After getting clean and feeling more or less like himself he dresses and gets ready to go apologize to whomever for not being at rehearsals.

Just as he’s about to leave he checks over the messages on his phone which of course are only from Liam and Niall, asking why he and Lou aren’t at the studio. Understanding from their texts that Louis didn’t make it to rehearsals either.

He picks up his keys off the counter and slips into his boots, chewing on a banana as he gets into his rover. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he thoughtlessly takes it out and reads the message.

_There’s some of your stuff still here at the flat. I put it all together if you want to come get it._

Louis. Of course it’s Louis. Just to make his heart sink a little bit further into his stomach. He backs out of Gemma’s driveway and begins to go towards the studio but decides half way there to screw whoever and go get his stuff back. He has to get his own place before Gemma kicks him out. Even though deep down he knows she never would, under any circumstance- especially this one. He just needs a place to start over.

It takes Harry a few moments of self talk to get out of the vehicle and walk up to the front door. This place has been his home for 3 years, he doesn’t think he’s ever been so afraid to enter before.

He knows Louis is home because his Porsche is sitting in the driveway covered in tiny rain droplets from when it rained earlier. The door opens slowly and a sad smiling Louis appears in a blue Button up and tight black skinny jeans. Harry has to forcefully tell himself no.

“Hi Lou” Harry says first, trying to make this go as easily as possible.

“Hi Haz” Louis says back, then steps away from the door to let him in. The flat still smells like them, it hasn’t changed except for the two separate piles of boxes stacked in the living room.

“So uh- these all mine?” Harry asks timidly.

“Uh-no” Louis says well shying away from his old lover “The ones over there are mine.”

Harry freezes “Oh- OH… you’re moving?”

Louis can’t look Harry in the eye properly, he doesn’t want Harry to know the truth doesn’t want Harry to hate him because he can’t give him what he wants. Doesn’t want Harry to know what he’s still madly in love with him and this flat only makes things worse.

“Just-Just thought this is a good point in life to start over yeah?”

Harry nods, accepting the answer “Yeah, yeah” the easiness of this all falls away and awkward silence follows. Harry can feel Louis’ blue sparkling eyes on him and all he wants to do is grab the man into his arms and promise things will be okay, but he can’t and they’re not. Instead he begins to look over the boxes and takes them out one by one to his Rover.

Louis helps, slowly but enough that they have all the boxes packed tight into Harry’s SUV within the hour. There’s only one box left before he gets to leave and it’s something that he drags on and on so he doesn’t really have to say goodbye once and for all.

“Where are you going to move too?” Harry asks out of curiosity.

Louis shrugs “Might stay in London, Might look in Donny. We’ll see, wherever life takes me.”

“Are we going to be okay Lou?”

“What do you mean?”

“Us? The band? Co-working? Dating other people? Are we going to be okay?”

Louis swallows and takes a deep breath, again trying to avoid eye contact with the taller lad. “I-I don’t know Harry. Things could be fine, things could go sour, I honestly don’t know what to tell you.”

Harry presses his lips together and nods “Right…”

“As long as we aren’t bloodthirsty and planning to kill each other I think we’ll be just fine” Louis adds and Harry just feels sicks, he shouldn’t have proposed, they are only in their twenties they’ve got lots of time.

“Argh, I’ve gotta head out…” Louis chimes well looking at the time on his phone.

“Right” Harry’s thoughts are crushed as he goes to pick up the last box. This is it, no more us, no more we, no more Larry. It’s over.

Harry looks into the last box, the tiny red velvet box sits under a scarf of some sort. He must’ve left it after Louis denied his proposal. Harry turns his head and looks at Louis who’s standing by the open front door.

Harry picks up the box. He turns to the door and gazes into Louis’ shining eyes one last meaningful time. He pours everything he wants to say into his eyes, hoping that Louis gets the message.

I love you.

I’ll never stop loving you.

You were the best thing that ever happened to me.

I understand.

I’m not angry.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Louis lips touch Harry’s for a moment of pure bliss. Louis shakes as his mouth captures Harry’s into his own. Slow yet easy, like puzzle pieces who need to fit together to be complete. Harry drops the box in his hands, silently hoping there isn’t anything breakable in the box. Even though he really could care less, anything broken in that box will never amount to how broken his heart is.

Louis hands lace through Harry’s curls tugging and pulling to get enough of Harry that he could ever need. Harry pulls away from the kiss first to take a long needed breath then cautiously looks into Louis’ sorrowful eyes, full of regret and panic.

“Shh- baby” Harry mumbles and they reattach their mouths together again. Sucking in deep breathing, hoping to get the last drop of what each other has to offer.

The door swings close as Harry pushes Louis against the back of it. Wet touches at Harry’s cheek and he knows that Louis is crying from overload of emotions. Harry just rubs at Louis’ lower back as they continue to kiss into each other souls, mending and piecing together each broken part one by one. Stitched together, but never the same.

Louis breathes breathlessly against Harry’s lips, the air sends a shiver down Harry’s spine and that curls him to the core.  Louis forehead rests against Harry’s as they take in the moment of each other.

“I should go” Harry mumbles.

“Stay” Louis replies then snakes his hand around Harry’s neck, pulling him in to kiss him open mouthed. It’s sweet and needy, like a little kid yanking on your arm. Harry can’t take it anymore, he’s never felt so vulnerable with Louis before.

Louis kisses at Harry’s neck, leaving long whispering pecks along his skin right to his collarbone. Harry moans as Louis bites at the rough patch of skin, Louis’ favorite place to mark Harry and Harry’s spot that’s reserved for Louis only.

Harry’s heart clenches and he knows this is going somewhere it shouldn’t but they need this. This is closure, this is where it ends.

Harry picks up Louis up by holding him under his thighs well Louis’ arms circle around Harry’s neck. Holding himself close as Harry guides him to the couch. Harry lays Louis down slowly without letting their mouths drop from each other.

The tender passionate kisses are something he’s never felt before, so full of emotion and words that are just begging to come out but just can’t.

Louis stops first and unbuttons his shirt first, he wipes away the wetness from under his eyes and then grabs for Harry’s hand locking them together for good measure. Harry places himself on top of Louis, settling his knees on either side of Louis’ torso. Harry pulls his shirt off himself and throws it aimlessly. Louis kisses at Harry’s neck again and down his chest to the elegant moth that sits on Harry’s stomach. Harry’s hands tangle in Louis’ hair, he leans down and kisses Louis’ head in the most tender way possible.

Louis smiles up at the boy on top of him, the corners of his eyes crinkling proving to Harry just how happy Louis is. Harry rocks his hips forward against Louis, feeling just how hard the other lad is. Harry looks back down at Louis, his eyes squished tight as pleasure tickles his body.

Harry kisses Louis’ mouth again and meets his eyes with a look that Louis nods too. Harry tries not to show that this is killing him inside but he wants too, he wants to be with Louis even if it is just one last time.

Louis shoves his jeans off and Harry undoes his belt. Both ridding of their clothes and being completely open to one another. As they have before, heck they’ve had strictly no clothes days. Just hanging around the flat in all their nakedness and being completely each others for those 24 hours.

Louis is holding back tears again and Harry can feel just how sorry the boy is with the way he moves. The long pauses, the slow moments, the timid touches. Harry kisses him softly, full of assurance and knowledge. The knowledge that this is going to be just as hard for him as it is for Louis, that this is the start of a very long painful journey but it’s for good reasons. For two people who love each other but want different things in life. Which is okay, whoever said life was supposed to be easy?

Louis bucks his hips and Harry grinds against him, feeling their cocks press together in need of each other. Of friction and love, Harry’s mouth goes slack against Louis’ jaw and it’s time.

Louis wants this just as much as Harry does.

Harry pulls the emergency bottle of lube they keep stashed in between two cushions, the amount of times they’ve never made it to the bedroom before being on each other. It’s only smart to keep a bottle here.

Louis shakes under Harry as the bottle is squeezed onto Harry’s hand.

“Babe, you okay?” Harry asks quietly.

Louis nods slowly “Fine, missed you.”

Harry gets a knot in his throat, the same one that warns him that if he speaks again he’ll crumble into a mess tears. So he just lubes himself up quickly, his eyes never looking away from Louis’, lines himself up with Louis hole and enters into his lover for the last time.

This is it.

Louis eyes shut tight and Harry groans till the pressure is just right. Louis’ breath comes out in on big huff, letting Harry know that he’s okay. Harry moves ever so carefully, leaning down to nudge his nose at Louis’ cheek. Louis shuts his eyes and basks in the feeling of Harry inside him. He never wants to experience anyone else in him except for Harry.

Harry kisses at the side of Louis mouth as he slowly thrusts into the smaller boy, leaving Louis with ragged breathes and tiny whines. Harry continues to kiss at Louis’ mouth, down to his jaw then at his neck. Making sure to kiss along the “It Is What It Is” tattoo because that is exactly them now. Two people who are madly in love forcing themselves to no longer be in love. It is what it is. Even if it's shitty.

Tears leak from Louis’ eyes but the pleasure feels so good there is no way he could possibly be sad. Harry continues to thrust into his ex-boyfriend, feeling Louis’ muscles contract with every move. Harry’s hands find a place into hold onto around Louis torso, well Louis’ legs tighten around Harry’s hips. Keeping them together as one.

Louis moans out as Harry begins to quicken his pace, his head digging into the couch cushion.

“You’re so beautiful Lou, so so beautiful.”

“You-you're so good Haz. So good, make me feel… amazing” Louis’ breathes come out uneven and in short huffs. Harry rocks his hips just a little bit faster and Louis is curling around the edges.

“Haz, not gonna last.”

“I want you to cum for me, one last time.”

“Fuck”

Tears leak from Louis’ eyes and Harry wipes them with his thumb. He kisses Louis down his neck and can feel Louis tensing up.

“Harry-”

“Cum Lou.”

Louis orgasm encompasses him like never before, bucking up into Harry’s sensation and clawing at Harry’s back. Needing to be one with Harry forever, the bliss of Harry Styles will never cease to amaze Louis. Not in a million years. The orgasm glow continues to ravish Louis as Harry finally finds his own climax. Burying himself deep inside his ex-lover, and grabbing hold of him as if not to ever let go.

The orgasm high doesn’t last as long as it should. Louis wants to grab Harry and snuggle up with him, pull the couch's throw blanket over them and sleep for three days. Harry wants to continue to make love to Louis like this for as long as he lives, he doesn’t want to give this up. Neither of them want this to end but it has too.

Harry pulls himself out of Louis and stumbles to the kitchen to get a cloth, he runs hot water over the linen and then comes over to Louis to clean themselves both up of cum and sweat. Louis had a pink mark appearing on his neck already and Harry could cry at the sight. Louis is so goddamn beautiful, he’s everything he’s ever wanted. Why couldn’t life be in their favor for once?

Lous tosses the soiled towel towards the laundry room and makes a mental note to put it in the wash before the furniture movers get here later in the evening.  They sit next to other in silence, the best sex they’ve had in ever and it’s done. They're done.

Harry makes no small talk, just finds his jeans and shirt and begins to dress. Louis covers himself with the couch’s throw, hoping that will make the moment last a little longer. Once Harry’s dressed and ready to go, he picks the box up once again and turns to give Louis one last glance. His mended heart cracking once again.

Harry chokes up as he opens his mouth to say goodbye, he can’t. He can’t tell the love of his life that he’s done. This isn’t right but it’s what they need.

Harry doesn’t say anything and it all hurts ten times more at the sound of Louis quietly sniffling just a few feet behind him. Harry grabs for the handle and refuses to look back, he steps through the door, the velvet box jumping in the cardboard. Tears fall down Harry’s cheeks and onto his shirt, he masks his pain as he turns to close the door. He ends up getting one last look at Louis’ sorry face, the tears raining from his eyes as he hiccups with sobs.

They lock sorrowful eyes with each other, trying to tell each other everything they’ve wanted to say. That relationships are made of compromises and that their love is too strong to give up. It’s a waste if they end it because of marriage and commitment. Life’s too fucking short.

“Marry me Harry.”

Harry drops the box and runs through the door, knocking the wind out of Louis’ lungs as he pins himself to the lad. He cries into Louis’ shoulder, heaving loud sobs as Louis cries into Harry’s shoulder.

“Louis fuck I love you so much. Please, we don’t have to get married we can do whatever, just please let’s be us again” He cries, shaking right down to the bone.

“H-Harry, I want too, I want to be married to you. I really want too.”

The knot returns in Harry’s throat and he can’t say anything but just pouts his lip and lets the tears leak from his eyes.

“I want to be married to you Harry. It would be my greatest honor to be your husband. I got scared and I'm still scared but it's better to be scared and with you than without. I’m so sorry Hazza.”

Harry shakes his head ‘no’ and shuts Louis up with a kiss, tears still streaming out of his eyes “Are you sure?”

Louis wipes Harry’s tears away with his blanket “Shh baby Hazza, of course” Louis leans forward almost sitting in Harry’s lap, he kisses at the man’s temple “ To have and to hold from this day forward” he kisses his cheek  “For better for worse, for richer for poorer,” He kisses his jaw  “in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish” He kisses his neck  “till death us do part” He kisses Harry on the mouth. Letting their lips prove how much they love each other.

“I do” Harry whispers holding to Louis’ hand with all his might.  

“And I do too.”

“You were right Harry, we are forever.”

“I love you so much”

“I love you too.”

“No goodbyes.”

“No Goodbyes.”

 ****  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all cried cause I cried writing this. It's 1:55 am and I have a 8 am lecture so rip me.
> 
>  
> 
> Find me at:  
> Tumblr: [AllTheYSLH](Alltheyslh.tumblr.com)  
> Twitter: [@1DAFEdmonton](https://twitter.com/1DAFEdmonton)


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